I’m having post-race syndrome, having break from training till Wednesday and I feel totally weird. I miss my teammates so much that I don't mind waking up early in the morning to row with them everyday.

It’s not easy to stay in DB from the beginning and I know it will never be easy. But my teammates are the reason why I’m still holding on. I can’t promise I’ll stay in DB for three years because I don’t know what will happened, but what I’m really sure is I will stay here as long as I can. I wouldn’t give up no matter what, I want to train hard! I want to race with them again. =)

Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best.

We did it. We did it together. The final set was an emotional one to me even before the race started; I want to win the plate so badly. “Together we are unbeatable” I told the girls before we did our last set. We gave the best for each stroke and when we know we got first, we just burst into tears. All our hard work, all our sweat, all our tears, is all paid off. Our hard work is worth it. We woke up early in the morning not for nothing. We train so hard not for nothing. I know we can do better than this and we will do better. I trust all of them, my teammates. I’m so glad I can row with them. =)

Our first regatta is over and quite satisfied with the results. I signed up for the National team trial too. I know I’m not good enough; my standard is not there yet. But yeah, I just want to improve myself. Argh, really got to work hard after this. Jia You!

I didn’t do well for my fitness test today. My bench press sucks like shit. I’m disappointed with myself again. Why am I so weak? I’m training very hard to improve, but why. I know I wouldn’t give up so easily, but I’m sick of this kind of feeling. Why my mental keep being tested? I’m not very strong mentally! I might not give up now, but what about later? I’m not sure about myself either.

Sometimes, I just hate myself.